Let me see now. Ten years ago British biking was on the verge of something big. Our bike buying trends were going to be challenged by a bug-eyed kid from Yamaha - the TDM850.
Feet stretched to way-out-front highway pegs. A single, fat, white-faced chrome-edged speedo dominating a chunky ally top-yoke. Heavyweight tank-mounted console for the basics and a nacelle headlight reflecting the whole world in its seamless perimeter.
Spring 1993 and the most cutting-edge and outrageous looking teutonic two-wheeler was launched by BMW. The BMW R1100RS was one of the first of the new generation Boxers and was a bit of a departure for BM in its (then) 70-year history.
There's a low, mean burbling coming from somewhere near my pants as my posterior is pummeled by a searing wave of torque. God, can you believe I've just written such tosh?
With a tyre-shredding 194bhp on tap and a fully revised chassis the original Hypersports bike is refusing to grow old gracefully. Hold on tight, because the 'Busa is back and is meaner than ever...
As Splitting Heirs contests go, this would seem the most one-sided fight yet. Only it's not. Thought the ZZR1400 to be the ultimate speed king? Well, maybe you've never ridden a 2002 ZZR1200 then...
Want it all? You're not alone. The CBR600F is Britain's best-selling motorbike of all time and not without good reason: it really is all things to all men (and women)
With £2,000 taken out of the Daytona 675's price tag is Triumph's Street Triple the bargain sportsbike of 2007, or have the boys from Hinckley cut corners on their new middleweight triple?
In some respects, Yamaha's new BT1100 Bulldog could be quite an important bike. Not, because of what it is (which we'll get to later) but for what it isn't.
Harley-Davidson unleash their most important model for 50 years. With a watercooled, 115bhp, 60¡ V-twin motor straight out of their VR1000 racebike, it marks the start of a new direction for the Milwaukee firm. This is big.
Aprilia Mille Factory, Ducati 999 and Honda SP-2 hurtle across Europe in search of sun, speed, a track day at Imola and a big day out at Italy's largest rock festival. Groovy!
Jim Bowen managed to completely spanner a ZX-10R the last time we put him on one. He has never been to the Qatar MotoGP circuit. So, who better to make a complete arse of himself...