Whitham's three and a half grand second-hand challenge

Buying a bike is the fourth most stressful event in a man's life. It comes after marriage, buying a house and being told,"we're having a baby". It marginally nudges that fateful, "I want a divorce". Buying a car doesn't register because only losers buy cars - oh, and those of us who have just been told "we're
having a baby", of course.

And quite probably the one way to make the transaction even more stressful is to buy second-hand. With new bikes there's the comfort of a two-year warranty, no question as to the condition and certainly no nagging doubts over whether it's been crashed. Not so with second-hand. There's something very primal about buying a second-hand bike that engages the hunter-gatherer in us. Buy well and you'll be the envy of your mates. Buy a pup and you'll be ridiculed for ever and a day - and be feeling the financial loss.

Quite why that placed four Visordown staff in DK Motorcycles' super-showroom of a cold winter's morning we don't know, but they were, each shelling out a hypothetical three-and-a-half large. Yeah, we were keeping it real, as Ali G would say. And it is a very real scenario, as DK's Garry Mackay confirmed.

"It's a popular price bracket and as much a commitment as buying a full-price new bike. Guys don't come in with a stack of cash and say, 'I want that one'. Typically they're bringing in their old bike, usually worth £1500, and they've begged, borrowed or financed the rest."

Of the Visordown team, sadly only Whitham would be able to lay out the cash for real, although even he'd sweat the transaction. Urry would have to hock one of his LCs and then finance the rest. But for Hogan and JB, now sprogged-up, this is a fantasy exercise. To do this for real they'd need to get a real job with real money - and it'd still be state schooling for the kids, eh?

So let's experience what it is to browse the shop floor. And with Whit being our knowledgeable expert lets look at how well our lads buy.