To The Crusher - Norton Nemesis

April 1998, the Dorchester Hotel, Park Lane, London. A glitzy launch is in full swing. There's a bike in front of the assembled journos. It's the Norton Nemesis, a bike that's sort of a silver (pink) elephant. It's a bike that when you look through a full champagne glass, half-drunk, looks better and a fair bit more realistic.

One legendary freelance journalist turns to Sonic at the launch after listening to all the spiel and says: "My bullshit meter has just gone off the scale."

If it seems a little mean to send a bike to The Crusher that never really existed, just look at the specs. The Nemesis was always going to be a Straight-To-The-Crusher special: Push-button gearshift, rim-mounted brakes, 1,497cc, 60-degree V-8, 280bhp at 14,000rpm, 111ftlb of torque at 9,000rpm, three spark plugs per cylinder, 225mph, 202 kilos, magnesium swingarm, fork sliders and wheels, cameras for mirrors, jumpers for goal posts, and all for £30,000 a shot.

Rumour has it this thing actually ran for a while, although another rumour was that the thing was pushed down a hill to be photographed for a photo shoot. Believe whichever you want to.

A chap called Al Melling was the engineering force behind the Nemesis. To be fair he's had an up-and-down engineering career, creating the TVR AJP8 V8 motor as well as having a couple of no-shows.

Poor old James Landsdowne Norton must have been turning in his grave to have his name used in vain in such a way. At the time, Myron Calof, who was executive vice president of of the Aquilini Group who were half of Norton Motors International (NMI) said, "We have a great marriage of financial partners, the world's foremost engine designer and we're going to be an enormously successful company."
Yeah? And my cock's a kipper.

Open wide ye crusher jaws and consume this irksome blot on the copybook of dreams!

April 1998, the Dorchester Hotel, Park Lane, London. A glitzy launch is in full swing. There's a bike in front of the assembled journos. It's the Norton Nemesis, a bike that's sort of a silver (pink) elephant. It's a bike that when you look through a full champagne glass, half-drunk, looks better and a fair bit more realistic.

One legendary freelance journalist turns to Sonic at the launch after listening to all the spiel and says: "My bullshit meter has just gone off the scale."

If it seems a little mean to send a bike to The Crusher that never really existed, just look at the specs. The Nemesis was always going to be a Straight-To-The-Crusher special:

Push-button gearshift, rim-mounted brakes, 1,497cc, 60° V-8, 280bhp at 14,000rpm, 111ftlb of torque at 9,000rpm, three spark plugs per cylinder, 225mph, 202 kilos, magnesium swingarm, fork sliders and wheels, cameras for mirrors, jumpers for goal posts, and all for £30,000 a shot.

Rumour has it this thing actually ran for a while, although another rumour was that the thing was pushed down a hill to be photographed for a photo shoot. Believe whichever you want to.

A chap called Al Melling was the engineering force behind the Nemesis. To be fair he's had an up-and-down engineering career, creating the TVR AJP8 V8 motor as well as having a couple of no-shows.

Poor old James Landsdowne Norton must have been turning in his grave to have his name used in vain in such a way.

At the time, Myron Calof, who was executive vice president of of the Aquilini Group who were half of Norton Motors International (NMI) said, "We have a great marriage of financial partners, the world's foremost engine designer and we're going to be an enormously successful company."

Yeah? And my cock's a kipper.